5/28/2011

Back to work!

I was stressing and dreading when the time came that I would be going back to work. Well, it came...and I was absolutely shocked when I had a fantastic week! I was expecting to have the crappiest of crappy times when it came time to get back to work.

I felt so great, so awake and productive and accomplished! The first month or so of life with Jace was all blurred together with feedings, sleeping, diaper changes, and not much in between! It was me adjusting to being a mother and Jace adjusting to being in the world.

At about 5 or 6 weeks I remember feeling like I was finally getting this mother thing down. Jace was getting on a better schedule, he started to sleep more through the night and be more alert throughout the day. I felt like everything was falling into place and life was starting to go back to "normal". (But better than normal, because Jace is in it now!) This is about the time that I found it easy to feel lazy and unaccomplished. I think a lot of moms are motivated and get things done. I, however, found that staying at home all day made it hard for me to motivate myself and feel productive! Some days I did, some days I didn't. I love to sleep, and staying at home made it easy to sleep whenever Jace was sleeping. So by the end of the day when Dan came home from work I was groggy and felt lazy and wanted to get out of the dang house that I had been in all day long! A couple days a week were good days, spent with cleaning the house, running errands, going to the gym and getting things done. But I couldn't keep that up every single day of the week, no matter how hard I tried!

So in comparison, going back to work I felt like I wasn't lazy because I don't have the chance to be! I didn't hang around the house taking naps and trying to decide if I had the energy to do the dishes. I woke up in the mornings for my early gym classes and still had time to come home and do some meditation and pilates. I actually ate breakfast everyday, something I was forgetting to do too often! I was able to get ready early and spend time with Jace at his most smiley and giggly time of the day. I was able to spend an 8 hour shift at a job I love feeling accomplished and getting things done. I was able to work with friends that I have fun with and I was able to meet new people. I was able to feel awake and happy after work and spend the evenings with my boys who I love more than anything in the world-having fun together, going on walks, watching tv shows, cuddling and laughing. And now I'm able to spend my 3 day weekends off being lazy and not feeling guilty about it one bit!

I think if I was leaving Jace with daycare, with someone I hardly knew, that would have been hard. But he gets to be with daddy one day, grandma one day and Aunt Jenny two days, all people who I know well and who love Jace like crazy. I also think if I worked Monday through Friday, 9 - 5, that would have been harder. But I work 4 days a week with a very flexible schedule.

So here I am just happy that I didn't have a complete meltdown like I predicted I would. Here I am feeling good about the way things are going now, getting excited to get into a home with my awesome little family. Here I am loving my life, more than I thought I would! Isn't it funny how sometimes we stress and stress and worry about something, but once it comes it's actually just fine? Yeah...story of my life, really. I'm a worrier!

But I'm also an optimist. I still believe in the good things in life. I'm so happy to be able to do something I thought I couldn't do! Being a working mom. Go me.

PS Jace is getting into the stage of laughing along with his smiles, just full on laughing! It is the stinkin cutest thing I've ever seen. LOVE this little guy!!!!!

2 comments:

  1. I don't know how stay at home moms do it. I think I would go crazy. Being bored and lazy,like you mentioned, but yet I think I could get more stuff done, if I was motivated enough. I'm so glad I work part time. It gets me going in the morning and out of the house. Just in time for me to come home and be a mom and all the house chores that come with it. It is very busy, but I like working. I'm glad you are getting in the swing of things, back at work and all :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm so glad things have worked out well! I needed this post! It's amazing to think of all that we can do and accomplish that we sometimes underestimate in ourselves!

    ReplyDelete