9/18/2012

Because sometimes I need to slow down.

Yesterday was a long day, full of lots to get done and chasing a one year old around all day! After dinner I asked Jace and Rockie if they wanted to go on a walk, to which the definitive YES was anonymous. (Jace says it, Rockie acts it by running to the door and wagging her stumpy little tail...) Sooo we headed out to our visit our trusty friend, the park down the street.

Little guy wasted the night away climbing up and down the stairs, going up and down the slide, and continually packing down the woodchips we stood on. "Siidde!" (slide) and "Pane!" (airplane) were repeated over and over again, along with his over exaggerated fake laugh that he does so often, whenever he is having so much fun that he just HAS to let me know. Oh that loud laugh, I swear I will never get tired of hearing it. And the cheesy little crooked toothed grin he flashes, my goodness it's to die for I tell you!

As I watched the happiest boy in the world, while the sky was turning pink and the darkness was quickly surrounding us, I thought about how badly I wished I could bottle this moment up and keep it forever. Because it was perfect, really. And this little boy that is growing up before my very eyes, I wish I could just tell him to STOP for a minute and stay small! There are a million moments in every day that I wish I could bottle up, because I don't ever want to forget them!

Which gets me thinking about something that weighs on my mind a lot these days...do you ever feel like everyone in the whole wide world is in a hurry for life? And do you ever wonder, why in the world are we in such a hurry?! Get out of high school, start college! Quick, get married! Ohhh my goodness, hurry and have kids! Buy a house! Have more kids! Keep having kids! Make more money! Be somebody! Do more! Keep going! Hurry, hurry!!

I'll tell you what, it's just silly. And exhausting! Who wants to look back at the end of their life and wonder why they were in such a hurry for everything?? So often lately I find myself living in the moment, soaking up the good times. I find myself loving so much about my life right now, just the way it is. And I shouldn't feel guilty for that, right?

But I do, sometimes. I am surrounded by people who have children 2 years apart. Surrounded! And I feel guilty sometimes because, that's not for me. I want to soak up the toddler years with my little guy before I bring another baby around. I feel guilty sometimes because I was in such a hurry to buy a house. Don't get me wrong, I love our house! I fell in love with it the moment I saw it. But sometimes, ie. when we are paying the mortgage every month, I wonder why I was in such a hurry to jump into such a huge responsibility??

Well you know, this is what we do in life. We live and learn. And if there is one thing I'm learning nowdays it's this: "keeping up" with everyone is ridiculous. Being in a hurry is going to turn into something I will regret.

And maybe I've been thinking about this so much, because my birthday is almost here. I'm surrounded by girls my age who feel "old". Is that laughable or what?? I feel so young! And I refuse to let anyone tell me otherwise. Besides, I plan on living until I'm 93. I mean, that's a long time to live! And just so you know, I plan on dying peacefully in my sleep. Luckily, I get to plan these things.

Anyway, the point is...what's the rush??!

One can only see clearly
When one is going slowly
Quick motion creates a life-blur.
~Terri Guillemets


PS if you're looking for some motivation in life (and really, aren't we all??!), go watch this. Amazing, inspiring, and so true!



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