11/01/2012

Good funnies come in threes.

Broken Shades 

I don't know if you know this but, I. am. funny. That, or maybe I just think that I am funny. But don't you think that thinking you are funny is even better, really?? Because you just laugh at yourself all the time! And it makes for daily entertainment. You should step into my mind, just for five minutes, you'll see. You would have to pop some popcorn and find a comfy seat, cuz hot-dang that stuff is ent-er-tain-ing! (and on a side note, sometimes I mean to be funny but I'm not. Or sometimes I'm not meaning to be funny, but I am. Isn't that how life works?!)

Here, take a sneak peak into our very weird and sort of funny in our own way life...

Three random lines:
|| "I know this isn't what you want to hear because you're a guy and all, but you're very good at folding towels!"
|| "Blink once for yes, pick your nose for no."
|| "There's a place in France, where the yellow ladies dance!" (not said, sung.)

Three recent awkward moments you might have laughed at, had you seen me when...:
|| husband was trying to signal from the driveway that my headlights were on, and I took it as a "boob grab" sign. I hope the neighbors didn't see our signing conversation that came from that one...
|| I was carrying a load of boxes to the recycle bin, when my nose started itching. I mean, really itching! The kind of itch that is so horrible, you twitch like a dog. But remember how my arms were full of boxes? Thus, trying to satisfy said itch with my upper lip. While still holding a million boxes. And cocking my head to the left and right like an awkward bird. While knowing that, had there ever in my life been a better moment when a third arm would have come in handy the most??!
|| That night I watched Halloween AND Zombieland before bed. Following which, little guy wakes up crying at 2 in the morning. I might have flipped on every light in the house before I made it to his bedroom. And I might have looked real funny like, had you seen me hopping around like a ninja. Because I just knew that no masked man or blood-lurking zombie would be able to catch me if I actually hopped and jumped around the house, instead of walking in a civilized manner. (I would be dead first, if I were in a horror movie. I just know it.)(and this prompted husband to tell me in a very dad-like way, "no more scary movies for you!!")

(and I know it ruins the "comes in three" rule, but also...had you seen me when my shades broke yesterday, while on my face, while I was driving home...you might have laughed at me then too. because for a split second I thought I had been shot!)

And this was just in the three days people. Where is that videographer of my life?? I need him to keep track of all our funnies. Because that, ahhh. That would make a good movie!

ps i need to let you all know something, in the way too long of a story round about way that is so typically me. here's the thing: I've been drinking entirely too much soda these past few weeks, with entirely too little (none?) working out. I mean, I'm all but ashamed at how much cherry coke I've been consuming. Every trip I take to the gas station for my 80 cent large refill, I ponder my life and how many years I'm taking from it by drinking so much of something so terrible for me and my gut. But it always ends the same...I leave with a large, ice cold soda and some very happy tastebuds. but anyway, you want the point do you? this is the point: due to high soda intake, my abdomen is bloating a little. just enough, that you might see me and be mistaken that there is a b word in there. and I would just like to set the record straight, so there is no mistaking: I. am. not. pregnant. This is all the cherry coke and vanilla dr pepper talking. And also, I vow to cut back a little. Maybe I'll make a "soda tuesday" or something like that. But anyway, who knows when and who knows if it will happen... but somebody stop me, I'm rambling again!

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