4/01/2013

A thought from heaven on a beautiful easter day.

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{the following happenings took place on easter sunday}

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This morning, up until nap time, it was one of those mornings that was thoroughly exhausting. You know what I mean? Mister J decided to wake up good and early, because for some reason lately he is very excited to start his days and sleeping in isn't on anyone's calendars anymore. So the morning, the one that started much too early, was spent keeping him happy and entertained. We then attended a beautiful baby blessing, but my two year old, well I'll be darned if he will sit still for a minute. Being somewhere new was all sorts of fascinating for him, and there was nothing he wanted to do but to explore the whole of the church building from wall to wall. Relief society rooms with pianos and american flags, stairs that led to more rooms, cream colored land-line telephones with thick twisty cords that connected them to the wall. Everything was a new planet, like landing on the moon, and he just had to go and neil armstrong every last rock.

Like I said before, it was exhausting.

When we came home to take a nap, it was the kind of nap time that mister J gave all of his energy into avoiding. Fight to the death, you know, that kind. After a few meltdowns, rolling around on the bedroom floor while kicking and flailing, he finally wore himself right out. As he lay on the floor motionless for the first time all day, I looked down at him with his big crocodile tears rolling down his soft and doughy, pink flushed cheeks, and I lifted him into my arms. I wrapped him in his blue and green striped afghan blanket and we sat in the glider to begin a smooth swaying back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And I know what you're thinking: you still rock him like a baby?! It's true that he hardly fits in my arms anymore, but listen here. I will rock him until my dying day if he will allow it. Because the quiet times we spend in that rocker, well, they are some of my very favorite times.

It didn't take much swaying back and forth before mister J fell asleep in my arms. When he finally falls asleep, I like to study his sweet face, watch his eyes twitching with new dreams as he slowly sinks into a deep slumber. I like to imagine what he is dreaming about, tractors and playing in the dirt and taking walks to feed the horses. I soak in the peace and quiet. And sometimes, like today, I pray. I pray with my heart while I stare at his sweet sleeping face.

God, thank you for sending this angel into our lives. Thank you for allowing me to be his mother. He makes everything so much sweeter, we love him so much. Please, I beg, Please keep him healthy and safe and happy.

And sometimes, like today, I pray for patience.

Please help me to have patience with him. Please help me to have a better understanding of what he needs and how I can help him.

I began thinking warily of our exhausting morning, chasing him around until we were blue in the face. I thought of days past, playing outside and using every last ounce of energy to keep him from running free in the neighborhood. We don't just play outside anymore; we spend our time outside chasing around a two year old. I thought about how he hates being told to "shhhhhh", or how frustrated he gets if he thinks we are laughing at him. I thought about how much he despises being strapped into his car seat or being forced to sit still at dinner time.

And as I prayed, staring into his face, rocking back and forth and holding him in my arms, a thought came to me. Not my own thought, but a thought that was sent to me from heaven.

Two year olds are not meant to sit still and be quiet. They are made to run free, explore new territories, learn new things. Everyday they are experiencing something new for the first time in their lives. They are meant to experience them, to discover, to learn.

Even though I'm just sure that somewhere inside of me I already knew this, the thought was so perfect and so much what I needed to hear, that it actually made me feel as though it was something new entirely. I said a silent thank you to the heavens for sending me that thought, the one I needed, the one that was so true.

Thank goodness for my two year old. Through the exhaustion, through the running around, through the energy that I use to keep him safe and content and happy. Thank goodness for all of it. He keeps me young, this boy. If I can just keep up with him, and remember that he was sent here to me so that I would keep up with him, well we are going to have a pretty great life together. I'm just sure of it.

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And now it's monday you guys. Monday is when we all get to it! I hope you had a great easter full of sugar highs and sugar crashes. I know we did!

Here's to another week!

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