5/13/2013

FOR WOMEN ONLY

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This is the picture message I sent to the hubs this morning. He already knows, of course, because all of my classic PMS signs showed up yesterday but I just wanted to remind him. Don't forget! It's not over yet! You know, that kind of thing.

Once a month I go through a few days of misery. I eat everything in the fridge and then wash it down with everything in the pantry. At any given moment you will find either pizza, popcorn, or chocolate in my hands. Currently I am spooning some strawberry frosting out of the can. I usually end up with a new friend or two on my face. And then there is the bloating. Damn that bloating! But that bloating, it's the worst. You know, I'm sure. Then there is the not feeling good in a single thing I wear, including sweatpants. And then there is the moodiness. Yeesh, that moodiness. My patience well is dry, I find myself swearing more then normal, and  at any given moment I can't decide whether to make out with the hubs or whether to punch him in the face.

It's a rough deal. For both of us, probably, but mostly for me.

Anyway, I think I've been handling this one exceptionally well! You know, making a conscious effort to not bite anyone's head off. And when the hubs complains I sweetly remind him that it could be worse, I could be the wife from Everybody Loves Raymond! And he nods and smiles because he knows I'm right. Plus he thinks, at least I'm nice on the eyes, even when I'm breathing fire.

But he doesn't say that out loud because he knows it's probably not the right thing to say, as nothing really is unless it is asking if he can get me some ice cream.

This all might be a slight exaggeration really. Except for the eating thing, that is the honest truth and I wish it weren't but IT IS.

Anyway.

It's THAT kind of Monday. Just in case you were wondering?

I hate men. Those lucky bastards.

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