10/05/2015

a week in the life video

I spent the majority of last week struggling internally with a bad attitude. I strongly believe that sometimes we need that internal struggle. It's as though these cynical and unenthusiastic parts of me show up to test the optimistic and hopeful parts of me, dead set on a mission to push around like a big bully. When I have these internal struggles I often think that I'm losing. I spend the week watching the fight happening and I almost always end up in bed feeling depressed and defeated because I am losing this fight! I can not win!

It takes a few days before I come to grips and realize that I haven't lost at all. The fight was brutal and blood was shed, my face is battered a bit, but I always end with this abrupt overwhelming instant after the exhaustion of the fight where suddenly it hits me. I have won!

And maybe won isn't the right word. I don't know that there is a winner, persae. I think the negative part of me that put up her dukes in the first place to start this godawful fight just kind of...gives up. She slinks away defeated and hides for a while, building up her strength until she will come back and try again. 

Late last night I had my moment of recognition. One final punch was thrown and then BAM, just like that my clarity and peace rose up inside of me, filling every crevice and niche I have with its wonderfully needed tranquil seclusion while the bully slid away to her cave, conquered for now.

I smiled softly and heard myself say, I did it.

Those kinds of weeks are hard, but the days after I have made it through that fight are some of my favorite days of all. The irony of the contradictions life gives is never lost on me, one of which being the learned notion that I am so much stronger for having fought my weaknesses.

Life is beautiful, isn't it?

Also last week was overall largely uneventful in activities really. Rock climbing, the cabin, park play dates and a rainy hike were the highlights of my week and so, I decided to try something different today. Something fun for posterity, you know, that kind of thing. Instead of gracing the blog with a collage of photos from our week, I made a video.

Enjoy! And happy monday friends! Get out there and get you some!


xoxo



// if you are viewing this on your phone, you can see the video here:


http://vid962.photobucket.com/albums/ae106/megscroft/AEEAC597-E1D5-479D-B61C-322636B52D2C.mp4

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