4/18/2017

Spring Break 2017



 ^^ for the record, I know at first glance it looks like Dan is smoking but that's just a candy bar, sorry to disappoint...












^^ a little backstory for that picture there: last year sometime I picked up some t-shirts at the thrift store, as one does. There was one particular shirt that was very comfy in all of the right form-fitting ways and it quickly became one of my favorites to wear. The front of it says "be kind" and I vaguely remember seeing on the back of the shirt that it was from a coffee shop in Colorado. Fast forward to earlier this year when we booked our trip for Spring Break, and it clicked! Estes Park Colorado! That's where the coffee shop on my thrift store shirt is! And so, of course, we made it a special point to find Kind Coffee (which was easy, it is right on the main street in town) and take a picture while wearing my be kind shirt. (I mean and yes, buy their coffee, which we did as well.)

Annnyyyway, boring stuff, I know.

For Spring Break we stayed in Estes Park, which is just outside of Rocky Mountain National Park, which has been on my bucket list. It was absolutely lovely there! Every morning I sat on the patio sipping my steamy coffee while listening to the music of the river running below and the birds chirping in the pines above. I would close my eyes and picture this as my life. A cabin with a river flowing in the backyard, sitting on the patio, living slowly and filled with awareness, breathing the fresh crisp mountain air.

It was a perfect reset button and a perfect Spring Break!

I feel that I should apologize for not being around much here on the blog. I have a lot of pictures stored that I could post, and a loooootttt of words filed away in my head, wanting so badly to get out somehow. But I find that I shy away from this space, the place where I once would write the words whenever they came to me. I know that I need to write, but I also sense that a massive internal awakening has been slowly occurring over the past year or so. I am respecting the awakening inside of me, and reverently honoring the meaningful changes that are demanding to be felt.

I thought I would be able to write more. I thought that my wounds would scab over and I would be able to come here, to tell my story, to tell my little brother's story, to tell about grief and pain and change and hope and despair. I know that it is important for us to be open and vulnerable about these things, because in the end that is what really connects us all together as human beings. We need to hear each others stories, to live in this solidarity that give us something to hold onto when we aren't sure how we will make it through.

And so, I thought I would be able to write more.

But as it turns out, all of these intense emotions brewing inside of me are taking a lot more time than I had realized they would take. I feel in my bones that I am not ready yet. I wish I were, but I am not. I am not ready yet to write my truths and to write all of my stories.

Not yet.

But I am learning and growing and changing tremendously. I will still be here! I will always be here to update the internet world (but mostly, to update my future posterity) about my life and its stories.

Thank you for being here.


xoxo

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