Things husband has taught me.

Look, I'm going to let go of my pride for a minute and let you in on something. And please, take note, because letting go of pride doesn't happen often where I stand. Since I met husband almost 4 years ago, I have learned a large deal more than I care to admit. New things every single day with this talented brain-iac around. Seriously. And all you feminists, don't get your panties in a twist-I'm not saying men are smarter and the only way we can learn new things is by getting a husband. But my guy, he's a real thinker this one. And he's nine years my elder, which means in nine years I will know as much as he knows RIGHT NOW. Does that blow your mind?? Yeah, me too.
ie: here are a few things I've learned since meeting my other half:

- - > how to 'pop the clutch' (in a car! you perv.)
- - > the right way to use a wet-dry vacuum
- - > why it's important to clean out the wet-dry vac after every use
- - > how to get up on a wakeboard
- - > how to flip an egg without ruining it
- - > how to use a level and measurements when hanging things
- - > put a dollop of sour cream in the bowl BEFORE pouring in the chili (try this!!!)
- - > the extreme importance of using a funnel for almost everything
- - > how to dive (I have the proof on camera)
- - > how to design an invitation in photoshop

...the list goes on and on. And really, most of the things I have learned are probably regarding cars. Good golly man, I had no clue about cars before I met husband. Oil changes every how many months? Wha??? I don't think I ever had the oil changed on a single car I owned since I was 16. Which explains why I went through so many cars.

Well okay, let's not keep dragging this out longer and longer. Let's go ahead and teach each other. Here's something I learned from husband that has come in reaaalll handy as of late.
And please, if you all already know this and want to laugh in my face for not ever knowing it before, can you just keep it to yourself? Because my self esteem is a pretty fragile little thing. Okay, thanks.
Let me draw a picture for you, and then take a picture of the drawing with a cruddy camera:




Don't be fooled by my lack of artistic ability. It looks like a truck, but it's supposed to be a car parked in a parking stall. And that parking stall is on a little bit of a slope. So do you know what I used to do? I would park there, get out, and lock the doors (if I was lucky). Done. But that's not how it should be done, don't you know! No, this is what you do...
You pull into said parking stall, and BEFORE (I repeat, BEFORE) you put the car in park, while your foot is still pressed on the brake, you pull up that handy dandy parking brake (which I never, ever used before), and then AFTER pulling the park brake, you put your car into park. Got it?
How easy was that? Well wait, we aren't quite done.
When it's time to leave, you first- put the car in reverse, then second- pull off the parking brake. AFTER putting it in reverse.
Make sense?
You will be amazed. And if you're not, your car will be. It will actually thank you. Seriously, this may seem boring until you put it into practice. You will see!

Are you just ecstatic that I'm teaching you as I'm learning new life lessons? You should be. Soon I will charge, in chocolate, for people to read the things my smarty pants husband is teaching me. And I will become not only smarter but also gloriously fat.

Stay tuned for another round of "what hausband has taught me" coming very soon. Because he usually blows my mind on a daily basis. (Again, don't be a perv!)

And guys, just so you know, sometimes...sometimes, guys...I teach him things too. I may be younger, and prettier, and he may be older and wiser...but sometimes there are things I know that he doesn't. Like, what "the clap" means. True story, I had to tell him once. And no, I don't have it. I just KNOW things.