6/09/2013

In Memory of her.

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This is my Mom's Mom. She has always been one of the sweetest and most charitable women I have ever met. Sadly, in recent years Grandma was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and slowly became someone she was not. And yet amazingly, throughout her journey with this heartbreaking disease, she always found ways to shine through the dust that cluttered her head and make us laugh and love and believe.

Early this morning the battle with Alzheimer's won and my sweet grandma left this world peacefully in her sleep. I was able to see her there, lying in her bed, looking like an angel in a sound slumber. I held her shoulder and whispered in her ear that could no longer hear, but with faith that she was listening somewhere, to tell her how much she means to me and how much she will be missed. I told her to tell Grandpa hello and that I missed him too. I pictured them hand in hand, both of them free from the bodies that held them captive in their last years of life, wide smiles on their faces and joyful tears running down their cheeks.

Today has been emotionally draining and oddly peaceful all at the same time. Losing a grandparent is hard. Harrrddd. I reminise about the times we had growing up and I find my heart aching to be there, back in time at Grandma and Grandpa's old red brick house, knocking on the door and waiting for them to let us in.

But I also know that sometimes leaving this world and it's diseases behind is well awaited and deserved. The fight and struggle that comes from these diseases, the ones that take from us everything we are and make us someone else, is tiring and can only go on so long. I like to think that at anyone's time of death in this world, an angel comes to take them to the other side. I like to imagine the love of her life took her hand and led her to their new home where she could be free from the disease that held her hostage.

And in that regards, her passing is peaceful. It is full of hope and faith and happiness.

Even so, my mind has weighed heavy today in memories. I will always pass by things in life that will forever remind me of this sweet woman.

Purple putenias.

Floral nightgowns.

Fresh peas from the garden.

The Sound of Music.

Russian nesting dolls.

Stacked newspapers.

Pearl necklaces.

And I will always hold close to my heart the woman she was, before a disease took over her life. Her laugh that came in short gusts of air. How she would never sit to eat until everyone else was done, so she could spend dinnertime serving us all. Her back tickles that put me to sleep. Her ability to make us all laugh. Her genuine love and dedication to her husband. Her honesty. Her simplicity. Her courage. Her faith.

Rest In Peace, Grandma. You are missed.

3 comments:

  1. What a beautiful post. I love your vision of angels coming to take those who die to the other side. It doesn't seem quite as heartbreaking that way. It's like they've returned home. My heart is with you.

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  2. I love you and I love your memories of Grandma. Thank you.

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  3. I am so sorry for your loss. Even when expected, the death of a loved one is so hard.

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